Zombie Apocalypse Plan

For years I have been developing my Zombie Apocalypse Plan, which I assure you has nothing to do with the song from the Cranberries, but it is about time to start sharing it with the world.

1)  The first thing I am going to do is put on as many different layers of clothes as possible.  (Luckily I live in a cold state and have many winter clothes available)  Make sure no skin is showing and has several layers.  I understand that this will slow your movement and reflexes but it will also make it harder for them to get a good bite on you.    FACT: biting through a sweatshirt is difficult and biting through Carhart clothes is nearly impossible.  Granted that the zombies will have stronger bite strength then humans but that is crushing strength and if you double up the sweatshirts and Carhart or other materials it should beable to stop the teeth or nails from breaking the skin.   (Note that the crushing power of the human jaw is actually enough to crush bones but bones can heal and the Z-infection can not)

p.s. CARDIO is a solid rule. Stay in shape so you don’t tire out at the wrong time .. see my 13:13:3 challenge

2) Step two is a two part step- first you must arm yourself temporarily ( In Step 4 you will be upgrading)  I have an old light weight base ball bat in my closet, which is what I will be using.  Next I am going to set up a temporary home base of opperations in my apartment (I live on the second story apt with only one entrance).  My apt will only be a good place for about 1 day so I will have to move fast.  If power is still on at this point I will be inviting my personal friends in the area and establishing a group of survivors to help.  I feel that if there is an un-dead army out there I want to have my own.  Unlike harry potter I will gladly enlist the help of my friends and family and even strangers.

Step 3 Gather Supplies

Once I have contacted whoever is close enough to get to my place, I will leave them there to defend while taking all the bags I can carry, plus my bat, and procuring a vehicle preferably a truck, which I will then take to the grocery store 2 blocks away to load up on canned goods and what food I can.  ( I also aready have a bunch of frozen deer meat in my freezer but that will only stay good for a short period of time.. I also keep some canned spam just in case)

Step 3a: I got alot of comments about how grocery stores will be over run or already picked dry.  My plan focuses on the one right by my house and anticipates that I will be one of the first people there. If it is over-run or picked dry before I get there… well then I take what I have and move on to the next step.  This will be a judgement call for everyone whether it is too over run or not..

With a vehical, my goup, and a few weapons (notice I did not say go to a sporting good store or gun shop becuase these first few hours, days of the apocalypse are going to be filled with crazed people and I want nowhere near them right now.. people are almost always as dangerous as zombies..make do or do without) we are ready to leave my apartment behind and head noth to the Wisconsin Dells.  ( It is an hour drive and I have printed out directions both highway and non highway to the WI Dells)

There we will be taking Ducks and Snow plows.

step 4) Wagons West!

The Roads will undoubtably be clogged with traffic.  What we cannot crash our way through we will have to go around.  Using the ducks to travel a combination of rivers and road we will head to the West, but not west of the rockies.  I want to go to the west for mulitple reasons.  1) less people = less zombies.. I get there are huge sprawling cities in the west, but there are also alot of very small towns and I am hoping the Z’s will group up in the cities  2) wide flat spaces = seeing them coming after you ( at least better than say in the woods) I don’t want anything to sneak up on me.  3) I am anticipating a rush of people going north and hoping to avoid that.  Also I feel that my survivability increases in the warmer dry climate vs. a freezing north or mountain terrain.  If you know how to survive up those environments then more power to you… I am just being realistic.. it isn’t for me.  4) Stay Mobile:  The lots of small towns I mentioned earlier I will raid for supplies (food, water, weapons, and radios) will make staying on the move easier.  I do not know if this is true but they say everyone carries a gun in Texas, which would probably be a good place for us survivors to find ammunition.   5) I really want to point this out again.. I am scared of being stuck in cold weather and I feel that I can survive better in warm weather than cold. I mean you ever hear of the donner party or play oregon trail.. cold is bad..(I admit heading north and trying to freeze out the zombies has many valid points but realistically… its a bad bet)

5) Weapons:  I have a few guidelines on weapons but it is not really a whole step. Obviously you will have to take what you have access to. The real key is to understand what your weapon is designed for. (don’t use a hunting rifle for close quarters combat)

5A. Here is the deal people…(inspired by the criticism of my bat choice)  A baseball bat is a solid starter weapon. It is mostly to disable and not take on the hoard. Light weight so it won’t tire you out and made of metal so it is strong enough. Breaking bones is an underrated tactic. Sure a bone break isn’t going to stop the Zed but it is going to slow it down. Alot! Break a back and it will have a hard time chasing you without legs. A solid hit to the face and let’s see it bite you without teeth left.  verything in my plan really revolves around tactical retreating (running away til the numbers are in your favor)

p.s. double-tap EVERYTHING

6) Using CB Radio’s me and my group of survivors will travel around the west trying to find more survivors.  There will be no starting new cities or staying in one place to long for a few years or until we see what kind of zombies we are dealing with.  I. E. If they die without eating, avoid sunlight (like in legend), were caused by a commet in space, or anything like that.  Basically Knowledge is power

7) This is the end of the plan.  Based on what we learn from our travels we will have to take it from there and use what we find along the way.

8) Side note: I was just reminded about this. Once a person is bit there is usually a window of time before they turn into one. No way we are going to take them out before they turn. I see this as a chance at their redemption.  In my group, if  you get infected,   you get a weapon and a chance to take out as many of them as possible before you turn. If everyone goes down fighting we can slowly even the numbers.

9) Side-note: Lots of people talk about zombies going underwater. Here is my thoughts on that.  Zombies totally could walk under water! BUT  since they would not have to breath and they have alot of empty space in them (granted this will vary z-to-z) I think that they would fill up with water and be even slower that normal. They would be able to climb up anchors or ropes if they are within reach but I think it will be a struggle for them.

I had a problem with WWZ. I think the water would speed up the destruction of the zombies. (initially I said “decomposition” but some comments changed my mind.  The salt water will probably sterilize and kill bacteria that would decompose the body). However, saltwater and sand are corse.. with the tides and currents of the ocean, I think the water would errode through the zombies.. I mean, water made the grand canyon for cripes sake!  And I think that if any of them went down to deep, then the pressure would kill them.  Underwater pressure can crush metal! Just stop and think what it would do to a zombie.. granted that type of pressure is pretty much only found in the ocean. I would say the threat level of water zombies is not as great as most people think.  Lake and pond zombies are a threat! Do not let your gaurd down around them!

This is constantly being updated so check back… or go to  https://baconbach.wordpress.com/ to see when I update and what some comments were